Sorry I’m not known as a great writer.
I have always been an anxious person for as long as I can remember, worrying how people perceived me and overthinking situations that haven’t happened and more than likely never did. In 2017 I was diagnosed with anxiety after suffering a panic attack at work over something that never existed. I went to therapy to understand my anxiety, the triggers, how to handle it, where it even came from and why I have a melt down when things don’t go to plan.
I live my life by a strict routine and lots of plans, but mostly work and gym and trust me, I know how boring this sounds lol, but I find this minimises any potential triggers and limits my overthinking. I find using a gym or even training outdoors now (shout-out to AT for the inspiration ) has been a revelation, as it obviously keeps me fit and healthy but it takes me away from anything I’m potentially worrying, stressing or overthinking and my brain just focuses on telling my body what it wants to do (never legs for some reason).
Since joining The Farm last year I haven’t suffered a single panic attack. Not only has Tom and the team set up an environment where I can get away smash weights and push myself, but he has created a community of people who all just want to work hard, have fun together and most importantly help one another beyond their boundaries. A place where I can train, feel comfortable, not worry about how I’m being perceived and be able to talk to people about anything including my mental health.
In summary, Tom and the team have set up a sick adult playground, with an open to all community that is full of great people, so thank you Tom and AT for your advice, guidance and investment. Thank you to all the people who have become a friend and pushed me to train harder, go further and put up with my horrendous banter.
2018, the year I started training down Farm Fitness was a tough year; my close friend and cousin committed suicide that summer, my father died of Parkinson’s, my uncle succumbed suddenly to cancer and my best friend’s father passed away. All of this was in a relatively short amount of time. On top of that my poor wife had a cancer scare which luckily turned out to be fine. Even though I seem an outgoing person, I never talk about my feelings and rarely share with my male friends my mental state of mind. I can never do those three hour phone calls with friends my wife does so easily. But that summer, internally, I was struggling.
So I threw myself into training at the Farm and that place really got me through some tough times, helped me focus and kept me sane. As men we rarely talk about our issues but getting fitter than I’ve been in a long time, focusing, and meeting a wicked group of like-minded people really eased me through a dark period. I’ve met lifelong friends and a group of people that have got my back. The camaraderie of the group training, and being in the hurt locker with like minded people pushed me to compete in over four cross fit tournaments last summer, and at 44, I’d say I’m physically fitter than I’ve ever been.